About Imago Relationship Therapy
Why Imago?
Do you relate to any of the following:
- We have problems with communication. We either don’t talk about serious issues, or when we do, we get into arguments.
- We have the same fights over and over.
- I don’t feel safe being myself.
- We lost the closeness and intimacy we had at the start.
- With children and work, we simply don’t find time for “us”. I feel like I’m living with a roommate, not an intimate partner.
- There has been an affair, or some other serious breach of safety and trust.
Would you like instead to:
- Increase your ability to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts with ease?
- Restore passion and intimacy to your marriage/relationship?
- End power struggles, and resolve cycles of anger, blaming and shaming?
- Deepen the experience of love, connection, and understanding between you and your partner?
There are many forms of marriage/couples counseling available.
So what makes Imago special?
Whether you are a couple seeking counseling, or a therapist wanting to be more effective in your work with clients, Imago offers a uniquely effective approach. Imago is Latin for the word “image”, and has to do with the fact that we all carry into adulthood our experiences from childhood, and particularly, our family. In simple terms: our family environment laid the groundwork for what we experience in our relationships with others. For example, if you grew up in a family where there was a lot of criticism, you will likely be sensitive to criticism, and see it in your partner. Likewise, if you felt neglected then, you will likely feel neglected, at times, now.
Our deepest hurts with our partner always have some connection with our past. In Imago, we aim to help you identify the core “triggers” in yourself, and in your partner, so that you can be more understanding and empathic with each other. We then focus on how you can act more intentionally to meet each other’s needs, rather than constantly re-injuring each other.
Imago approaches problems on all levels: emotional, cognitive, behavioral, and spiritual (not religious–spiritual) levels. We find that a deep understanding of each other’s feelings and experiences is crucial to being able to empathize with each other. We also recognize that we often need to change our behaviors to give and get what we really want.
As you learn in this process, the good news is that such change is not only possible, but leads to valuable growth and healing for both partners. We find that our partner’s requests for change often challenge us to grow into some neglected part of our Self. For example, your partner may want you to be more expressive of love or caring. You might protest: “Well, this is just the way I am”. We would encourage and support you in learning new behaviors to express your loving side in a safe environment, free of blame and criticism.
If you are struggling in your relationship, I would like to help. If you are a therapist and want to help others using this method, we encourage you to attend our Basic Clinical Training so that you will have a high level of competency using this approach.
Therapy Resources
For more information about the process of therapy, see my article:
“What to Expect From Couples Therapy